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Are You Hard On Yourself?

You might be sabotaging yourself!

“I cannot believe you did not work out…again!”

“That cookie jar was full when you came home, now it is half empty, well done, you moron!”

“You know what to do and you still don’t do it, you are just a lazy bastard!”

“You promised to play with your kids and what did you do? Watched Netflix, got a few chores done to feel better, and that’s it.”

 

We all might have heard versions of that not from other people but from our own minds. We don’t really need other people to criticize us, we are our own worst critics!

 

I have heard those things a thousand times. I am a food addict. I struggle every day with overeating, binging on chocolate, or certain savory foods. I don’t look like it, but I also have been working on my food addiction for years. 

I went so far as to use electroshock therapy on myself. I was simply disgusted and upset at my failure to gain control over my behavior…I was a personal trainer, after all. It didn’t work anyway.

 

I always thought that disciplining myself was the way to go. Turns out that self-discipline and disciplining yourself are two different things, at least for me.

Self-discipline is not a punishment but a practice while disciplining myself was more of a punishment, like doing extra cardio, depriving myself of food, etc. for behaving a certain way.

 

The Turnaround Point

 

The turnaround point came when I read about self-compassion and self-love. Initially, I thought what wishy-washy crap. This is for some wimps who don’t have their shit together. 

 

Then I realized I don’t have my shit together and all the other stuff I had tried had not worked. 

 

I read more about it and had to reassess my first reaction. 

 

In an article of 2018 Margie Warrell wrote: “Self Compassion can sound like a ‘feel good’ fluffy way of dealing with disappointments, failures, and mistakes…”

 

However, it turns out that having self-compassion has a bigger impact on success than being hard on yourself (study).

 

Warrell points out in her article that having more self-compassion leads to the following adaptations:

 

  • Better and deeper relationships, you are more fun and pleasant to be around
  • Your body image improves 
  • You are less likely to mull over the same shit again and again
  • You improve your motivation to learn and perform
  • You are less likely to procrastinate and aren’t as perfectionistic

 

How Do You Apply It In Life?

 

There is an easy way to apply this in your life. 

 

First, start forgiving yourself for past mistakes. No, I don’t mean to lift the burden of responsibility from your shoulders; rather, move on and accept that you made a mistake and that there is nothing you can do to fix it. It has happened, time to move forward. 

You are basically hitting the reset button, starting over. 

Some of my clients ask how many reset buttons they get. The answer: as many as you need. 

This does not mean there are no consequences for your actions. Let’s say you drink and drive. Beating yourself up about it won’t change anything and if you get caught or have an accident you will have to live with the result of your actions. Yet, moving forward you can forgive yourself and work on doing better. 

The same applies to food, training, relationships, etc. 

You sit there with what you have done, take responsibility instead of staying in an endless guilt loop, and move forward to improve yourself.

 

How did Self-Compassion help me?

 

I stopped being hard on myself when I was overeating on foods I wasn’t supposed to. I forgave myself, which stopped the behavior sooner because I was not guilting myself as much, and I found a better equilibrium. 

 

When I spent my afternoon in front of the computer screen gaming after a 70-hour work week because I was fried and needed a break, I forgave myself instead of feeling guilty.

I would pull myself out of the funk, tell myself that I was understandably fried, but that my kids deserve better, and I would make the effort to be with them as much as I could, knowing that I would often fall short. 

 

When I was tired and struggled to get up in the morning to train myself before my clients, I would have some compassion with myself and then get up anyway, knowing doing something is better than nothing. 

 

Conclusion:

I am still fallible. I still make mistakes and fail. Every day. I am overall in a better place, despite long days, financial or relationship struggles, and being tired. 

Some days I do better than others. I acknowledge my pain, my suffering. I no longer diminish it or hype it up as much. 

 

I found that I have more energy, more willingness to do something productive since embracing self-compassion as part of my life. 

 

I am able to be more vulnerable to people in my life, which has returned to me in the form of better relationships.

 

Maybe this does not work for you, maybe you are stuck in being hard on yourself.

 

In the end, it is about what works for you. Chances are if you are reading this, your version of handling failure and mistakes is not working that well for you…

 

Maybe it is time to try a softer approach, even though you might see yourself as a tough person.

 

Yours, 

 

Michael

Operating only within your comfort zone leads to losing ground on all levels!

Recently I was running on my treadmill at home. I was alone at home with my two boys like many weekends. 

I ran 10 miles that day and was happy and content afterward for having finished my run. 

I thought to myself  “I put in the work and I am ready to tackle the day.”

Later that day I realized, yes indeed, I had put in work, but… did I grow doing my run? Or did I simply put in the time? 

I am obsessed with growth. Growth, as I wrote last week, is often a painful process. Discomfort gives the opportunity for learning about yourself, others, and how you relate to other people. 

I thought back. A couple of years ago I was running half marathons, marathons, ultra-marathons, etc.; running 10 miles hardly qualified as training at the time. 

I burnt out from the marathons eventually, too focused on pace and on racing instead of growth and enjoyment.

I took a break from the marathons, dialing back, and when I started running again about 6 months later, I focused on having fun and wanting to be able to run a half marathon comfortably. 

After running another marathon in 2018 I sustained a training injury that put me on the bench for a little while. After the healing process had finished and I came back to running, the most I ran for the following two years was about 20 miles in a week with 9-10 of those miles on the weekend. 

I quickly noticed that I would still be able to run a half marathon but it certainly would not be comfortable anymore. 

What happened?

It is really simple. My comfort zone contracted, it became smaller. Our comfort zone is usually about 60% of what we perceive as our current maximum capacity. By reducing my mileage, not only did my top-end performance suffer, my comfort zone dropped as well.

Essentially I was detraining myself. You might be thinking: “Michael what in the world does that have to do with me?”

What you do in your daily life follows similar rules

If you stop going outside of your house, you eventually become fearful to do so. If you are single and you stop dating, it might eventually lead to the situation where talking to a stranger and making yourself vulnerable becomes a nearly insurmountable hurdle. 

Being unwilling to learn new things in life because you perceive it as too challenging or fancy-schmancy shit will lead to you falling so far behind that you might have trouble keeping up in your workplace, personal life, etc. A look at the elderly no longer being able to handle technological advances clearly shows this. 

In general, our body and mind tend to go with what is comfortable. It takes effort to venture outside of comfort zones. 

It makes sense. In a past world where we had to fight daily for survival, having those crucial rest moments of comfort was important to stay ready for when we either had to fight or flee. 

In a current world that is surrounded by comforts like cars, AC, trains, planes, phones, computers, internet, cushy chairs, Netflix, Amazon, etc., we are no longer exposed to those same survival challenges. 

When was the last time you had to fight for your life, go mano a mano with your prey to provide food and I do not mean you fighting to get that two-pound steak into your pan? 

Challenging yourself regularly to the edge of your capabilities will lead to growth. I’m not saying that you have to do it every day, but you should do it frequently. 

I have been in the fitness field for over 20 years and from observing hundreds of clients, I have found the people who stay young mentally and physically are the ones that are willing to grow and who push their boundaries on a regular basis. 

Pushing boundaries can come in many forms.

It could be in the form of addressing anxiety on making cold-calls to strangers for work, getting the courage to meet a potential partner for coffee, or confronting the jerk at the office that is always a little too touchy-feely or finally reporting him/her to HR.

You could also sign up for a road race in 10 weeks and start training for it.

Challenging yourself can come in a myriad of ways. There are many ways to grow.

Don’t just seek out your strengths, but seek out your weaknesses and improve them, potentially even making them your strengths. 

You will start having more respect for yourself and so will your family because they see how you are growing. 

I moved to this country several years ago with very little. Throughout my journey, I had to face a lot of fears, poverty, and hardship. 

Through those struggles I have learned to know myself better, I have met other amazing individuals who sometimes for a short period of time and sometimes for a long time have become companions in my journey. They have been my teachers and my friends.

I learned from them how I want to be and how I don’t want to be. 

And then….

There is a trap

I am not kidding, there is a trap, and a big one. 

The trap is called complacency, being too content with the status quo. 

I have gotten complacent many times. I was the trainer who did not work regularly out but coached clients on what they needed to do. I was the guy video gaming 40 hours a week and eating M&Ms talking about past accomplishments. 

I was the employer who wanted to have a life outside of work and no longer actively worked on growing my business – which was not just for myself but also for the people working for me – all the while justifying it by telling myself I deserve a break too. 

Past accomplishments are not places to rest on but moments from which to pull strength when life gets hard. Like David Goggins puts it: Past accomplishments are cookies in your cookie jar. You can pull one out when you are being challenged in life and use it to give you the strength to persevere. 

Everything in life is a teaching moment 

You can learn from every moment in life. Every moment has a nugget for you that can help you expand who you are, grow your comfort zone, and your comfort threshold. 

That being said, the comfort zone is important: we use it to get new energy and drive. It only becomes a problem when we stay there. 

Task For Today

Venture out. Three days this week I want you to push yourself outside of your current comfort zone. 

Day 1: Pick a physically challenging activity and do 10-20% more than you have done before

Day 2: Pick something that challenges your mind, your knowledge, and learn something new

Day 3: Pick something that challenges you emotionally like a difficult conversation that needs to be had and do it. 

Yours, 

Michael

Pain is Gain…Or Is It?

Pain is Gain – we have all heard it many times. 

But what does that really mean? Many people might associate it with training, meaning:

“Don’t be a whiny, little bitch, and keep going, nevermind the pain!”

Personally, I do not subscribe to this philosophy. Probably because I am working hard at getting people out of pain, being injured that is. 

However, there is still value in the “No Pain, No Gain!” saying. 

Here is where I see it coming in:

We live in a world of comfort. We can go grocery shopping, to the pharmacy, the bank, and get breakfast all without ever getting out of the car. 

We sit in the comfort of our house with heat,  AC, and Netflix after a long day of not doing much physically, at least for most of us. 

In training, you can work on getting comfortable with the uncomfortable. This is important. 

I believe that growth rarely, I don’t want to say never, but rarely comes from a place of comfort! We often experience growth through hardships if we reflect on them properly:

May that be:

  •  a relationship break-up, 
  • someone dying in your life, 
  • your parents telling you to get the hell out, 
  • you finding out your partner cheats, 
  • your doctor tells you that you have to take medication because you did not take care of yourself,
  • Etc., 

In those moments, we are confronted for a brief second with a certain truth about our life, about ourselves. 

These moments are crucial and I think a lot of personal growth can happen right then and there. 

Most of the time, we fall back into our routine and live within our comfort zone. Sometimes that comfort zone has been expanded a little, often only temporarily though. 

What we are often not aware of is that if we are not growing, then we are shrinking, contracting, meaning: you are getting old, not physically but mentally. 

So what in the world has training to do with it? Training is a tool for you to prepare yourself for life. 

The Arena

People who live life to the fullest are stepping into the arena within the colosseum. I like this example because there are two types of people:

The people inside of the arena are living life to the fullest, they are vulnerable, honest, and hone their skills, seeking growth. 

The arena is surrounded by many spectators that gaze in adoration at the participants and often think that they must be inhuman or have a special gift. 

These spectators don’t live life, they get lived by life! By the way critics belong to the same section unless they are willing to step up. 

Unless you fight in the arena on a daily basis to improve yourself, to put yourself out there, grow, be vulnerable, you have no say in my life and a person like that should not have a say in yours. 

Let’s have a closer look at the arena. 

It is the training ground of champions. The training ground for moms and dads who get that they are the ultimate leaders in their kid’s lives and in their community. 

Being a parent is tough, and that is when you have easy kids like I do. Kids pretty much can throw wrenches into anything. At the same time, they did not choose this life or us as parents. 

We decided to have kids which makes us ultimately responsible for them and to deal with anything that comes up and help them prepare for life in return.

By stepping into the arena you decide to be honest, vulnerable, hard in the sense that you are willing to grow, to become resilient but are open and pliable, you don’t have a set mindset. It is the way of the modern warrior, gender is irrelevant. As a matter of fact, women often do better here than many men due to the way we are raised. 

I am not talking about Instagram,  yoga pants, chi lattes and essential oils. That is just some silly shit that makes my eyes roll so badly I feel like they are straining in my head. 

Stepping into the arena means you abandon the easy way and choose the less traveled road, the hard way. 

It is easy to: 

  •  hide your feelings and appear tough when shit hits the fan,
  • Ignore your kids and be absent mentally while pretending to be there, 
  • Let the digital babysitter aka tablet, etc take over,
  • Let them go through school and NOT asking for how it went, check their grades and help them again and again with it even if they push you away because you are the uncool parent,
  • Lose yourself in the daily grind and hide behind “I  have to work, I don’t have time!” excuse,
  • Let yourself go, don’t take care of yourself physically, mentally, spiritually, or emotionally,

The hard way is the following:

  • Having honest conversations with your children and partner seeking a win/win solution,
  • Owning up to your mistakes,
  • Having the courage to show emotions and let others have theirs without belittling them
  • Taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually. 

You still have not told me what training has to do with it

Physical training like strength training and running, etc are just modalities that can be used to strengthen your resilience to life, to give you what it takes to be a stronger you! 

When you get up first thing in the morning and you challenge yourself to conquer the inner demons that want nothing more than being comfortable and safe, you set up your day to be more successful and fulfilling.

By overcoming small obstacles we get stronger physically and mentally. We become able to overcome bigger obstacles, that before seemed like unsurmountable tasks. 

Physical training that challenges our abilities, that pushes us to the threshold of what we thought impossible helps us grow to be men and women that can overcome anything and that can teach the same skills to our kids. 

I am no talking about becoming a hard asshole but rather about learning and increasing our outer and inner strength, discipline, and vulnerability. 

You might say, Michael, why do you keep bringing up being vulnerable?

Vulnerability, the ability to be open and face criticism, and being exposed to harm is the ultimate strength. A physically weak person that is able to live true, honest, and open is stronger in my eyes than some meathead that deadlifts 400 lbs but is incapable of having an open conversation about his feelings. He is emotionally and mentally weak. 

Training alone does not do it. You have to use training intentionally as a tool to grow as a person. 

In training when you push yourself you have to reflect on what you are doing, why you are doing it, and push yourself sometimes beyond what you thought possible. 

What being in the arena does not mean:

  • It won’t mean that you don’t fail, quite the opposite, you will again and again. It is all about getting up when you fall. 
  • That you will always live by your ideals and values. That is tough, I know that, you know that, we all do. You just do your best, own your mistakes and go back at it.

When you live like that you will push your comfort zone to grow. Things you never thought you would be able to do will become normal, will become part of your comfort zone. 

Conclusion:

Pain Is Gain: meaning instead of letting life slip by you, you are jumping in. You are taking responsibility for who you are and where you are in life. It does not mean that bad things don’t happen to good people but let’s face it, no one is going to dig your ass out. It is on you. 

It means embracing discomfort by being honest, compassionate, caring, and vulnerable, putting yourself out there and risking getting hurt. You do that because you have a positive impact on your life and your kid’s life by being authentic. 

It means strengthening your soul and disciplining your mind by using exercise to push your mental and physical boundaries and thus help you prepare for whatever shit life throws at you. We both know it feels sometimes like an army of monkey flinging poo in front of a fan directed at you, better be prepared for it. 

Exercise can be a choir or it can be a tool in your toolbox to growth & wellbeing. The choice is yours. 

Yours, 

Michael

When You Are Tired and Have No Motivation

Being Successful Through Habits and Rituals

Every parent knows the feeling of being bone-tired and exhausted. You probably know it even more so when you are a single parent. 

We get up early in the morning, get the kids ready, who cooperate to 60% on a good day and not at all on many days. 

Finally, you have them out of bed, two different socks on, lucky they are wearing shoes to school and stuffing their face with food that they earlier declined to eat because it was too much of this or too little of that. 

This almost sounds like the beginning of a comedy. For many parents, this or versions of this are a reality. 

Then you get ready to go to work. If you happen to be in a pandemic like we are right now you might even enjoy the questionable pleasure of home-schooling, managing your kid’s schedules, and at the same time pretend to be productive at work. 

Evening rolls around eventually, thank God. You cook, if you can call shoving chicken nuggets in the oven cooking, and then proceed to feed the monsters who disgustedly look at the food and proceed to tell you that this is the 4th day in a row of chicken nuggets, and regardless of their various shapes, are still chicken nuggets. 

After threatening the kids with eating this or going hungry, they consume the food and start screaming for dessert. Exhausted, you give in, waving them off and telling them to get something, not even bothering to check what they are eating. You are done, spent, and exhausted. 

You let the digital babysitter also known as iPad take over and watch a show on Netflix. 

Ironically you chose one that is a docu-drama on being healthy, fit, and all that jazz. 

You look down at your belly and thighs…yeah…it has been a while since your last regular routine and you resemble the Pillsbury Dough Boy more than a fit mom or dad.  You start wondering if you even squeak when someone pokes your belly. 

You don’t remember the last time you felt sexy or good about your body…. 

Determined, you decide after finishing the motivational docu-drama that tomorrow you will make a change. You will get up 30 minutes earlier and do your workout. 

You end up going to bed and before you know it your alarm clock rings. You look at it in confusion. Why was it going off 30 minutes early? Then you remember…the workout routine.

Yeah, not happening. You feel like a semi rolled over you and proceeded to go back and forth a couple of times for good measure. Maybe tomorrow will be the day. 

Maybe the story above is slightly exaggerated but chances are that you have experienced some of those things, depending on where you are in parenthood, work, etc. 

It can be really tough to get going, to get anything done when you seem to not have any time to begin with. 

You know deep inside that if you were just motivated enough you would do it. 

Truth is: motivation does not get you very far. 

Motivation is more like kindling in the fire. It does not last but it provides enough of a spark that a great fire can ensue if you treat it right and fuel it correctly. 

What needs to happen for you to truly change something in your life?

Two primary conditions need to be filled for a permanent change to happen. The first one is pain and the second one is a vision or future. 

No worries, I am not telling you that you need to put needles in your eyeballs and hope that the following pain will give you visions. 

What I mean with that is simple:

We are driven by pain, fear, etc. If you fear for your life because a lion is after your rather round, juicy butt then you will run, and faster than you should be able to. 

After getting chased several times by a lion and only narrowly avoiding becoming a chew toy, you envision having a house to stay safely inside so you can flip the lion off from the inside and tell him to go fuck himself, while you are chilling on the couch eating delicious food. 

How does this compare to you in your current situation?

What is your Pain

Make a list of your pain points, which  could go like this:

  • I am constantly tired and exhausted
  • I have to take medication to control my appetite
  • I am afraid that my partner no longer finds me attractive
  • I will not go out and date because I am afraid to be turned down
  • I am not doing so well sexually…not interested in it, or my equipment not working as described in the manual
  • I have no energy to play with my kids or don’t feel like it (the needles and eye thing sound better than playing)
  • I have been increasingly taking medication and it is negatively impacting me (sometimes literally)
  • My back, knees,hips, etc. constantly hurt and it is harder to keep up with my kids 
  • I don’t really love my partner anymore
  • I am in an abusive relationship
  • I am the abuser in my relationship
  • I am no longer in control of my drinking/eating, etc. 

Now, I know it is not fun to dive into this shit. Hell, I am the same way. I don’t want to dwell on what is not right with my life but growth rarely comes by sticking our head in the sand, you just have sand in your teeth and we all have been toddlers and tried that at some point…well I have 🙂 and it’s not pleasant.

If you want to change, you have to face the music, plain and simple. No more procrastination, no more pretending everything is okay. 

Luckily, there is a silver lining because now we dive into the stuff you want, desire, and are passionate about

When was the last time you dreamed? 

The last time you considered what you want for yourself, your kids, your family instead of just going through the daily grind and routine?

I am an excellent grinder and a shitty dreamer. I am just being honest here. Head down, going into grind mode and when my head pops back up I realize I ended up in a thousand miles away from my goals. Certainly not where I wanted to go. Why? Because I did not check in with what I really wanted and create the game plan for it. 

What is your Vision?

Now it is about who you want to become. This is the exciting part! I believe that you should have one hero and one hero only. That hero should be you in five or ten years. No, I don’t need you to be a narcissist but I need you to believe in yourself and what you can accomplish and love yourself. You will be authentic and amazing versus a knock off of some celebrity you follow. 

Here is the next step in your life. You can look at other people and find examples if you struggle with seeing yourself there, but I want you to be your own hero in the end.

To start creating your vision, make a list of the things you want to be like and want to have. Here are some examples:

  • I am a partner in a loving, honest, and passionate relationship
  • I have a deep connection with my kids and spend quality time with them
  • I am lean and healthy, and free of medication
  • I have the energy to do the things I want in my life
  • I wake up feeling good
  • My sex drive/life is alive and well
  • I am kind, compassionate, and forgiving without neglecting my own personal needs

This is some powerful stuff right here. Now, what do you see up there? If you guessed a roadmap to success then boom you got it!

Here is how:

You can now formulate actions, rituals, and habits off the bullet points above to create your roadmap to success.

If you want to be a partner in a loving, honest, and passionate relationship, you will want to act like one. 

Initially, it might feel weird, but let’s say you start listening to your partner, really listening and hearing what she or he has to say without getting butthurt every time something comes up that goes against your ego and insecurities. Instead, you just take note, think about it for 10-20 seconds, really take the time to think about it, and then answer. 

You hire a babysitter and escape for an evening with dinner and passionate sex at a hotel, make the walls rattle with your passion, just you and him/her. The list goes on. 

If you want to be lean and healthy, free of medication you have to act like a person who is that already. What habits do they have? Do they have pizza 2 days a week, 6 beers on the weekend followed by an average of 4 hours of Netflix a day? Most likely they see the pizza as an occasional treat, they work out 3-5 days a week, and make a point of maintaining an active lifestyle such as cycling, hiking, etc. They eat vegetables…you don’t like veggies? Well, get the fuck over it. You sound like my two-year old did. You are an adult, behave like one. Find solutions instead of problems by trying new recipes; make a point of having veggies again and again. It is sometimes an acquired taste, especially if your parents did not make an effort and you never learned to eat your veggies. Don’t expect it to change in a week, or a month, but over the course of many weeks, months and years. 

Rituals Succeed Where Motivation Fails

You might ask yourself how people are constantly motivated to do and change things. Out of experience, I can tell you that they are not. I am certainly not and my field is fitness. If you think that I want to get my ass up between 4:30 and 5 am every morning to work out before starting a 13 hour day, you are mistaken. 

So what lets me succeed where other people fail? Simple rituals and habits do the trick. We all have them. Good and bad ones!

I know I get up in the morning, I work out and start my day. I have plenty of bad habits too, like procrastinating social media postings for my company, doing books, gaming later than I should at night, etc. 

I continuously work on my habits and rituals and I FAIL OFTEN to implement new ones. It is not a matter of failing but a matter of restarting, doing it again. The shorter the time between you failing and you getting up is, the more likely you are going to succeed.  

Habits and rituals take time to establish. Think of them as paths in a grassy field. Initially, the grass is untouched, no one has walked through it. If you walk through it once you will see the faint outlines of a path for a couple of hours, maybe a day, and the grass will stand tall again. 

When you walk the same path thousands of times you have a well-worn ground, devoid of grass. It becomes easier to navigate and takes less time to maneuver. 

It is the same with your habits and rituals. It takes time to form those and while you form them you will wander off the path many times but eventually, you will get it. 

How to form successful rituals

If you want to form a successful ritual you want to start with something easy and build a string of successes. 

If your goal is to do something physical every day during the week you might start with going to bed 15-20 min earlier and getting up 15-20 min earlier (you did not think you would get away with just adding shit to your already busy calendar, did you?).  You do some squats, some push-ups, a couple of planks, and throw in some rows with dumbbells, bands, or whatever you have. After that, you walk up and down the road while your kids are asleep. If you do that 4-5 days a week you have exercised that week for 75-100 minutes. Mind-blowingly easy! 

I can already hear the objections.

  • I don’t have dumbbells
  • I don’t have bands
  • I don’t have a street I can walk on
  • My kids won’t let me walk, what if they wake up

This was an example. Your situation is different. Stop the excuses and start with the solutions. Just start. Set the threshold low to reduce your failure rate and when you fall off the wagon, because you will, everyone does, get over it! Forget the guilt trip, it is entirely useless and does nothing to change anything. Remember,  it already happened, time to move on. Restart. 

Time for your action plan! Write below or just for yourself in your journal what are your pains, your visions and what habits do you need to have to make it happen!

Why Instagram and Facebook Is Misleading!

In this picture I am feeling good about my body, training and nutrition. I am not bloated, and I just had a great workout!

So, what is wrong with this picture?

 

Absolutely nothing is wrong with it. I am glad I felt like this this morning.

 

However, what you don’t see in this post or other posts by fitness professionals or just friends are the following:

 

  1. For months during COVID-19 I struggled with emotional stress-eating.
  2. I gained 5 lbs.…you might scoff at that but remember, I am a trainer and supposed to look perfect.
  3. Sleepless nights because of stress with co-parenting my son.
  4. Worries about my business surviving these trying times.
  5. Getting hit with huge bills at the worst time (they always seem to come at the worst times, lol).

My point being is that it is important to take pictures from Facebook, Instagram or other platforms with a grain of salt.

They often are snapshots of a moment in life when a person felt good. We do not know the drama behind the scenes.

In the case of fitness professionals, it even goes a step further. We live in a competitive environment on social media, especially if you are not 22 years old social media fitness trainer and all you do is fitness, but have family, a business, etc.

 

  1. Many fitness professionals on social media have photoshoots when they are on the money with their looks.
  2. Pictures get photoshopped.
  3. Always get the most flattering angle (guilty there sometimes).
  4. Diuretics, extreme diets, and performance-enhancing drugs (PEDs) are often part of the equation to make sure they fit a certain image.

 

Why is that so important?

 

Well, it is simple, if you follow one of those models, make sure you don’t fall into the trap that you can look exactly the same way as they do without employing the same methods as they have.

Many are not open about their use of PEDs which projects an image that is never achievable.

Are you trying to tell me Social Media is all nonsense?

 

Not at all, quite the opposite. It can be a wonderful source of information, motivation. Feel free to follow whoever inspires you, may they be on PEDs or not, they still had to put in the hard work.

I just do not want you to get disappointed when you fail to accomplish looking just like it.

Go in it with an open mind but do not hesitate to question, or even ask.

In the case of friends, social media never replaces reaching out to people in person.

You never know what is going on behind closed doors and someone might need a helping hand but is too afraid to reach out

Social Media is a great tool that has dangerous pitfalls, now have fun browsing, finding inspiration and motivation with your favorite people while being a little bit more questioning.

 

#thesuperdads #shapeupfitness #charlottepersonaltrainer #fitspo #charlotte #fitness #training

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