31 Dec Make a Change! Get Rid of the Negative Things in Your Life
Many of us hang on to “stuff” way too long, days, weeks, months or years after we pretty much know it is not working for us anymore. The reasons are plentiful.
We are afraid of change
Change does not come easy to us. We don’t know what really is on the other side. Are we going to get the job, the life, [insert what you want]. Is it really what I want? Do I burn bridges if I make changes. These are just a couple of the thoughts going through some of us. It is okay to be afraid. Everyone is afraid of something, the difference is the following: The person who is not afraid disregards a built in warning system, the person who is afraid but after taking his or her fear into account and takes that leap of faith is brave or courageous. It is not that we are not afraid, we just use the fear as what it is, a warning system Turn down the volume a little, but still incorporate its message into our planning.
We want to make it desperately work
Sometimes we just cannot let go. It is so hard to admit that something is not working for us anymore. We might associate it with having failed. It could not be further from the truth in most cases. We do not control life. The things we are actually in control of are very limited. I have been in relationships too long, held on too long to a training plan that was too difficult for me and many more things. I am guilty of trying to make it work.
There is nothing wrong of putting an effort into making something work, finding a solution to a problem. But we do need to reassess the situation periodically and decide if all sides involved are putting an effort in, or if said efforts are successful. It might be time to move on.
We are afraid to fail
Failure and trying to make something desperately work are often closely related. What if I change and I fail at the new thing? I will be left with nothing! Maybe for some of us that rings a bell.
This probably is one of the biggest ones for me. I am afraid to fail but really underlying of it all is not being worthy enough, being a valuable, lovable member of society. Well, I learned that just to be mainstream is not really who I want to be, or rather who I am. I don’t want to be average, I want to be good, even excel at the things I have a passion for. Like Edison said: “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10000 ways that won’t work.” Every successful person in life will be criticized, judged and put down. The person will fail. The difference between that person and perhaps you and I? They get up and do it again, like a child that learns how to walk. It falls, bumps its head, over and over again, but in the end it prevails and gets back up and finally walk. Maybe we need to be more like children and less like adults. Get up and do it again!
We are afraid of the unknown
What is going to happen if we make a sudden change in our life? Is it going to work out exactly as we planned? Am I going to get what I wanted? Or am I getting more than I bargained for? Yeah, we can go to fortune teller but in the end, no one really knows what is going to happen. The big unknown is probably one of the biggest fears for some of us. There are some ways though that can help you ease the change. Make small changes at first, take small steps that are not as frightening. Feel the empowerment of success and how it feeds your desire to do more. In the end you won’t be able to completely eliminate the unknown, but people who actively seek to change their life to the positive seem to have a tendency to get something that is close to what they seek 🙂
It is easier to just go on
Well, that sure is the true for me! Sitting at home in front of the TV instead of going to work out, find a better job, follow your passion, [you name it], is so much easier than investing into the actual doing. The TV is mindnumbing, books or video games can be a great escape. The excuse of being lazy is also great to not admit some of the reasons up and above. This is an excuse I have used at times in my life. I was addicted to video gaming, I gamed for 40 hours a week while being married, having a business. I was addicted to the escape it provided. While gaming I did not have to face the struggles of the business, the financial fears, etc. After years of doing this though, I became increasingly discontent. I just could not go on any longer, having my life go by me, me as an observer just watching. I finally made a cut. I feel more alive now then I ever have. Life is not easier, but it has been worth the change. I have a successful business, I am the fittest I have ever been, and am the happiest I have ever been, I have surrounded myself with people who love and accept me the way I am.
What can you do?
You might have been able to see yourself in one, some, or all of the reasons for not wanting to change. Find the things in your life that hold you back and change them, get rid of the negativity, divorce it! Take small steps, take big steps, it all depends on you and your game plan.
Make a list
- What is that holds you back! Write the 3 most important things down
- How would you like your life to be? List 3, highest priority first
- How would you feel if you had these three things accomplished
- How do the things that hold you back affect the life you would like to have
- How can you change the things that hold you back in order to minimize or eliminate their impact on your success?
- Write down a strategy on how to accomplish your goals!
I hope this has been helpful.
If you need any help with transforming and discovering your best, give me a call!