Pain is Gain…Or Is It?

Pain is Gain – we have all heard it many times.

But what does that really mean? Many people might associate it with training, meaning:

“Don’t be a whiny, little bitch, and keep going, nevermind the pain!”

Personally, I do not subscribe to this philosophy. Probably because I am working hard at getting people out of pain, being injured that is.

However, there is still value in the “No Pain, No Gain!” saying.

Here is where I see it coming in:

We live in a world of comfort. We can go grocery shopping, to the pharmacy, the bank, and get breakfast all without ever getting out of the car.

We sit in the comfort of our house with heat, AC, and Netflix after a long day of not doing much physically, at least for most of us.

In training, you can work on getting comfortable with the uncomfortable. This is important.

I believe that growth rarely, I don’t want to say never, but rarely comes from a place of comfort! We often experience growth through hardships if we reflect on them properly:

May that be:

a relationship break-up,
someone dying in your life,
your parents telling you to get the hell out,
you finding out your partner cheats,
your doctor tells you that you have to take medication because you did not take care of yourself,
Etc.,

In those moments, we are confronted for a brief second with a certain truth about our life, about ourselves.

These moments are crucial and I think a lot of personal growth can happen right then and there.

Most of the time, we fall back into our routine and live within our comfort zone. Sometimes that comfort zone has been expanded a little, often only temporarily though.

What we are often not aware of is that if we are not growing, then we are shrinking, contracting, meaning: you are getting old, not physically but mentally.

So what in the world has training to do with it? Training is a tool for you to prepare yourself for life.

The Arena

People who live life to the fullest are stepping into the arena within the colosseum. I like this example because there are two types of people:

The people inside of the arena are living life to the fullest, they are vulnerable, honest, and hone their skills, seeking growth.

The arena is surrounded by many spectators that gaze in adoration at the participants and often think that they must be inhuman or have a special gift.

These spectators don’t live life, they get lived by life! By the way critics belong to the same section unless they are willing to step up.

Unless you fight in the arena on a daily basis to improve yourself, to put yourself out there, grow, be vulnerable, you have no say in my life and a person like that should not have a say in yours.

Let’s have a closer look at the arena.

It is the training ground of champions. The training ground for moms and dads who get that they are the ultimate leaders in their kid’s lives and in their community.

Being a parent is tough, and that is when you have easy kids like I do. Kids pretty much can throw wrenches into anything. At the same time, they did not choose this life or us as parents.

We decided to have kids which makes us ultimately responsible for them and to deal with anything that comes up and help them prepare for life in return.

By stepping into the arena you decide to be honest, vulnerable, hard in the sense that you are willing to grow, to become resilient but are open and pliable, you don’t have a set mindset. It is the way of the modern warrior, gender is irrelevant. As a matter of fact, women often do better here than many men due to the way we are raised.

I am not talking about Instagram, yoga pants, chi lattes and essential oils. That is just some silly shit that makes my eyes roll so badly I feel like they are straining in my head.

Stepping into the arena means you abandon the easy way and choose the less traveled road, the hard way.

It is easy to:

hide your feelings and appear tough when shit hits the fan,
Ignore your kids and be absent mentally while pretending to be there,
Let the digital babysitter aka tablet, etc take over,
Let them go through school and NOT asking for how it went, check their grades and help them again and again with it even if they push you away because you are the uncool parent,
Lose yourself in the daily grind and hide behind “I have to work, I don’t have time!” excuse,
Let yourself go, don’t take care of yourself physically, mentally, spiritually, or emotionally,

The hard way is the following:

Having honest conversations with your children and partner seeking a win/win solution,
Owning up to your mistakes,
Having the courage to show emotions and let others have theirs without belittling them
Taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

You still have not told me what training has to do with it

Physical training like strength training and running, etc are just modalities that can be used to strengthen your resilience to life, to give you what it takes to be a stronger you!

When you get up first thing in the morning and you challenge yourself to conquer the inner demons that want nothing more than being comfortable and safe, you set up your day to be more successful and fulfilling.

By overcoming small obstacles we get stronger physically and mentally. We become able to overcome bigger obstacles, that before seemed like unsurmountable tasks.

Physical training that challenges our abilities, that pushes us to the threshold of what we thought impossible helps us grow to be men and women that can overcome anything and that can teach the same skills to our kids.

I am no talking about becoming a hard asshole but rather about learning and increasing our outer and inner strength, discipline, and vulnerability.

You might say, Michael, why do you keep bringing up being vulnerable?

Vulnerability, the ability to be open and face criticism, and being exposed to harm is the ultimate strength. A physically weak person that is able to live true, honest, and open is stronger in my eyes than some meathead that deadlifts 400 lbs but is incapable of having an open conversation about his feelings. He is emotionally and mentally weak.

Training alone does not do it. You have to use training intentionally as a tool to grow as a person.

In training when you push yourself you have to reflect on what you are doing, why you are doing it, and push yourself sometimes beyond what you thought possible.

What being in the arena does not mean:

It won’t mean that you don’t fail, quite the opposite, you will again and again. It is all about getting up when you fall.
That you will always live by your ideals and values. That is tough, I know that, you know that, we all do. You just do your best, own your mistakes and go back at it.

When you live like that you will push your comfort zone to grow. Things you never thought you would be able to do will become normal, will become part of your comfort zone.

Conclusion:

Pain Is Gain: meaning instead of letting life slip by you, you are jumping in. You are taking responsibility for who you are and where you are in life. It does not mean that bad things don’t happen to good people but let’s face it, no one is going to dig your ass out. It is on you.

It means embracing discomfort by being honest, compassionate, caring, and vulnerable, putting yourself out there and risking getting hurt. You do that because you have a positive impact on your life and your kid’s life by being authentic.

It means strengthening your soul and disciplining your mind by using exercise to push your mental and physical boundaries and thus help you prepare for whatever shit life throws at you. We both know it feels sometimes like an army of monkey flinging poo in front of a fan directed at you, better be prepared for it.

Exercise can be a choir or it can be a tool in your toolbox to growth & wellbeing. The choice is yours.

Yours,

Michael